


Everything’s an illusion

by GirlWithTheCinderblockGarden



Category: Critical Role (Web Series), The Mighty Nein - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, F/M, Heavy Angst, I Tried, I'm Sorry, Other, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 09:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18091787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlWithTheCinderblockGarden/pseuds/GirlWithTheCinderblockGarden
Summary: Caleb begs, Jester’s silent.





	Everything’s an illusion

**Author's Note:**

> Okaaay! Been gone for a while, I’ll admit, and I’m sorry for that, but here’s something I worked VERY hard on as a peace offering.  
> BIG thanks to LunarLady on the widojest server for inspiring this baby and to softazelma, on discord and on tumblr, for doing all of the beta work on this fic.

They hadn’t expected it.  
One minute they were fighting a small group of drow, just three of them – it should have been so easy! The Nein were sure to win. But in the next second, all of Jester’s magic, which had been alive and thrumming throughout the battlefield, was gone, leaving only cold air and darkness in its place. They all stopped dead in their tracks, in spite of the danger, blood running cold.

And Caleb’s whole world tilted on its axis, narrowing down to three points: Jester, all the way across the battlefield; the fourth drow materializing behind her; and the dagger protruding from her back.

Jester’s shocked, pained eyes, staring ahead of her as fear clouded her face in an ugly facsimile of her usual playfulness, would haunt his dreams. 

As Jester fell to the ground with a soft thud, the world seemed to kick into gear again, faster and deadlier than it had ever been before – and Caleb was upon Jester, crossing the 20 feet between them before he even realized that he was running. And then he was supporting her upper body, her front to his, one hand cradling her head and hiding her face in his neck, while the other pointed towards the drow, pure hatred burning the faceless enemy before he could even scream.

Caleb’s attention was back upon the little blue tiefling again. “Jester, Jester, Blueberry – I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, but we will fix this, ja? I promise we’ll make it alright. Just hang on, Caduceus is going to fix this.”

“Blueberry....” Jester sighed, laughing lightly and then wincing in pain. “I really like it when you call me that… feels special.”

“Then I’ll endeavor to do it every day, Jester; I will do it so much I’ll forget your real name, Ja?” Caleb’s voice cracked, rasping in his throat. “You just have to be here for me to do it, Ja? Please hang on.” And dammit, where was Caduceus? They were wasting time.

As if summoned, the firbolg was beside Jester and Caleb, looking over the wound on the other cleric’s back instead of healing her, as he should be doing.

Caleb glared at Caduceus, his hold on Jester tightening exponentially, making the tiefling whimper. Cad seemed to pick up on the wizard’s apprehensive thoughts, however, because a second later he was looking into Caleb’s eyes, his gaze pained.

“I don’t have any more healing spells right now. There’s nothing I can do.” Caleb could hear Beau’s soft gasp, Nott’s teary “No...” somewhere in the background, but right now the world felt narrowed down to just Jester, Caduceus and himself, and even the firbolg seemed like a colorless backdrop when compared to Jester.

“Caleb?” Jester’s voice distracted the wizard enough so that he turned his angry gaze from the firbolg, eyes flashing towards the tiefling’s hair, the closest he could see of her face. “It’s getting really cold. And there’s a handsome man, all in black, waiting to take me with him. He has a.... really nice smile. Seems fun.” Jester sighed in content, her head lolling more heavily against Caleb, her words slurring together. But Caleb didn’t care about this man, he only wanted to keep the girl in his arms talking.

“No, no, no, Blueberry, you tell him to wait. You tell him we’re not fucking ready, Ja? None of us are.” I’m not ready, Caleb wanted to say, and he didn’t care if the Raven Queen herself came to take Jester, he’d kill her – he’d fucking kill her before she could, and if she did, he’d burn the whole world down to ashes in retribution. He’d make them pay for it. What kind of world was this one, where people like Jester, good and warm and light, died and people like him, dirty, tainted and sullied, were allowed to live?

“Hmm, he says it’s not our choice; wasn’t his either when she took him…. Says s’not so bad.” And then she mumbled something about doughnuts and if it were any other day, Caleb would have laughed, but not today, not now, when laughter seemed like something a thousand miles away, something that didn’t even exist in this world anymore.

“We’ll find help, Jester, just hang on, please.” And was that desperation on his voice? When did that happen?

“Can’t…” Jester whined, voice weak, burying her face further into the warmth of Caleb’s coat.

All too suddenly, Jester slumped forward, growing completely still in Caleb’s hold while the rest of the Nein watched on helplessly, grief and guilt swimming in their gazes.

Caleb screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, leave some kudos and comment, if you liked it! I love hearing what others have to say about the stuff I write. :)


End file.
